i need to get out of this house.. it drives me absolutely insane. knowing i won’t have someone to help me or be by my side or be my only true friend is breaking me. i can’t stop thinking about you leaving, i can’t stop thinking of what a disaster it was when you were 10 hours away. i don’t want you to doubt my love for you, i want you to stay mine and me to stay yours. i don’t think your going to want the same, i don’t want to be pushed away days after you get there or even days before. i don’t think you can understand how much i love you, and how much i just want to be by your side. we’re bonnie and clyde. i don’t want to be doubted or unwanted, i want you to fight for me too. i always feel selfish about this, cause at the end of the day i want you to stay. i just wish i could make you happy here, but this place is like fucking death. i don’t blame you for leaving this shit hole, but sometimes i feel like you should want to wait for me.. i guess you do, that’s probably why your here. do you want to be with me as much as i want to be with you? not just now but are you going to want me? i know my feelings for you will never change or fade, sometimes i feel like once i write something it sounds less true. but it’s something i just know, i won’t just move on, or kiss someone else’s lips when it’s yours i crave. i don’t even know what to think, i just want to hear you say i love you..
nights like these i want to curl up next to you and sleep, i would dream of you and instead of waking in panic because your not there you would be.
that’s the biggest comfort i can think of. i go to sleep and wake missing you.
nights like this i want to listen to gnarls barkley and cry, but i can’t let myself do that right now. too much to do..
i think a big reason i hate myself so deeply is because of how pathetic i am.
no one even knows what’s going on in my head, espically nights like this.. i need you
very depressing walk
